Thursday, October 15, 2009

Woody, you sneaky bastard!


I hate you Woody. You are a loser.

You plaster yourself all over TV telling me about how all I have to do to get a free burger is become a fan of you on Facebook.

So what do I do? Sorry pathetic gullible patsy that I am, I do it! I become a fan. I give you my email address. I read all your silly updates about how you're close to a million sandwiches! Oh, and make sure you give me your email address so I can send you your free sandwich!

So I wait.

I planned a weekend in Bismarck, and according to your winsome sweet nothing promises, it should be in my mailbox by the time I go. Yay! Free meal for me!

It doesn't show up.

I check again the night I get into town.

Still not there.

I check again the night I'm going to leave.

Still not there.

I get home late Sunday night. Well, will you look what the cat dragged in??

There it is in my mailbox, snottily staring back at me, mocking me now that I am 200 miles away from the nearest TGIFridays.

Bastard!

I open it even though I know it's too late. And there I see it--the damn coupon is only good from the 11th through the 14th. I would NEVER have been able to use it!

Why promise me the world and then fail to mention it's only available from the hours of 2 and 4 a.m. on the 32nd of December??

So I am a teensy bit mellow dramatic.

But it could just as well have been those ridiculous stipulations. If you really wanted to give me a free sandwich, Woody, why such a narrow window? Could it be that you were secretly hoping I would NEVER BE ABLE TO GET MY FREE SANDWICH??

I think you know the answer.

I hope you can live with the shame your deceit has caused. I hope your so-called million sandwich giveaway ends in a food poisoning lawsuit that bankrupts you. I hope all the people who did come in for their free sandwich ordered only the sandwich and nothing else. I hope they failed to tip and in protests all your servers quit.

I hope all your Facebook fans block you!

Oooh look! Free appetizer coupons!

Damn you Woody! You got me again!

4 comments:

  1. You seem a bit upset. Did you loose anything over this? Did it cost you anything? If it did not, then I would say that life will go on. No need to name call. Also as a server, I would definitely be upset if people did not tip me, so I would never encourage any such action. The majority of North Dakota already tips way below the national average, so they do not need to be encouraged to do less. This sounds like a typical promotional deal to get people into the stores, and nearly all of them have a lot of stipulations.

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  2. Jane--I was trying to be funny. I was not serious at all. Sorry if I wasn't clear that I was just making a joke about the promotion. Yes, I was disappointed I did not get my burger, but mostly I was just trying to make a silly commentary on a currently visible promotion.

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  3. I was laughing the entire time I read your post! That’s exactly what they wanted the entire time though, is for people not to really get their ‘free’ sandwich and to become a fan and get all those annoying emails or posts and get nothing else from it. They sure did con you, but I am sure you are with the 999,982 other people who didn’t get their free sandwich as well. And I am sure that the tips that those 18 people that did get their sandwich wasn’t that great for the server either. I have found out through wayyyy to many years of serving that the cheaper the meal the less the tip is. You think if you get a great discount or coupon to make your meal cheaper that you will tip a little bit more….WRONG! I saw the original commercial for the sandwich giveaway but I haven’t heard how successful it has been since then. From your reaction I wonder how many others are actually in the same boat. You can’t always trust what you see on Facebook I guess.

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  4. The same thing happened to me and I didn’t even realize it. Had I not read your article, I will have to admit that I would have taken that coupon with me to Omaha when I travel down there next weekend. I would have felt like a real fool when I tried to use it. Although, I am hungry for TGIFriday’s and I will probably end up there anyway. Either that or Old Chicago, I haven’t decided which one yet. Whether or not I get my free burger, I have to say that their promotion worked. I loved their commercials and certainly signed up. Plus, this is at least the second blog in this class alone on the subject. Also, on the tipping subject, I am proud to say that I tip based on what my meal would have been without the discounted price. If the service is worth it, I like to be generous. I know how hard that work can be.

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