Facebook thinks you are pathetic and lame.

Don't worry. It thinks I am too, but just doesn't tell me to my face.

No, instead it shows your picture off in the corner with a sad little note saying, "Help Becky find friends. She only has 8," or " Write on Josh's wall." You are the sad little kid at the playground off by yourself who gets pity friends sent over to you by the playground monitor.

"Go over and play with Timmy. Look, he's all alone."

So this whole pity friend suggestions has me wondering, how many people are ignoring Facebook's suggestion to come over and talk to me? Look how sad and lonely I am. No one has written on my wall in weeks!

Thankfully, I do not judge my worth as a human being by how many friends I have or how often people write on my wall or tag me in a photo. I have a life. I have work to do. I don't check Facebook every fifteen minutes to see what everyone else is doing.



I totally just lied my pants on off. They are on fire, it was such a fib. I AM pathetic! I DO need friends!



In fact, I am so 'facehooked' that I even considered getting a cell phone data package at the insanely ridiculous rate of $80 a month just so I could check Facebook updates and messages remotely. (Thankfully, my paycheck is way too small for that to ever work, so I did not subscribe to said stupid plan.)

I have in the past mused to myself that Facebook is just the social dynamics of high school all over again with a few more people. Now I'm thinking it's getting closer to Kindergarten--in which case, won't you please, please won't you be, my Facebook neighbor?